Just Breath

63c85e7e7f11e2a4982359bf551bd058Its been 4 weeks since my bikini competition and well I’ve lost control. I feel anxious and overwhelmed with where to go from here in my fitness goals. So, I finally sat down and accessed my current situation.

I want to continue to grow, get stronger and healthier. Forget about being a certain body fat percent or weigh a certain amount, which sounds easier said than done. For the longest time I’ve worked so hard to lose weight and have struggled. Not because I eat crappy food or because I cheat on my diet all the time, or from lack of effort. Its all thanks to an uncooperative thyroid and an autoimmune disease I didn’t know I had.Read More »


The Struggle

07fa532dac913895debd1211c79bc254During my prep for my bikini competition, I swore I’d have a plan for after the competition to slowly get back to normal. I never actually realized how hard it was going to be to get back in the groove. After 4 months of low macros and 6-7 day works outs, all my brain wants to do is sleep and eat everything. Read More »

Competition Recap!


12294801_1008171922539617_5496091866832346113_nIts been almost 2 weeks since my first OCB bikini competition, and I’m finally back to my normal routine. Had a mini vacation for thanksgiving  right after my show, so I hadn’t had time to sit down and write and reflect on my experience.

Saturday was the most exciting and nerve wracking day of my life thus far. Since my show was in Tucson, we had to drive down Friday night to check in and take my polygraph test.Read More »

9 days out!

Well that was quick! NO, it took forever to get here! I’m officially exhausted, need donuts ASAP or I could die! Well, at least that’s what it feels like. Carb depleting all week then Saturday I get a tiny reefed and then its PEAK WEEK!

I’ve been practicing my posing like crazy, because I’m really nervous about standing on stage in front of a huge crowd of people. I feel like I might freeze and forget my steps unless I memorize them and it just becomes second nature. My husband said that the lights are so bright when your up there that you can’t see the 200 eyeballs staring at you, maybe just the judges eyeballs but that’s only 6-7 people. At least I know there will be 10 other girls standing next to me, which is a good thing, I think.Read More »

2 weeks out!!

I can not believe in less than 14 days I’ll be standing on stage for the first time competing in a bikini show. I have worked so hard for the past 3months and I have made slow progress,  but I’ve done it. I have fought for what I wanted, put in the work, and all the sweat and tears will be worth it. I may not be the leanest girl on stage, or the most muscular, but in reality I feel that I’ve beat the girl a used to be.Read More »

4 1/2 weeks out!


Unbelievable how fast time has gone! It feels like just yesterday I was 12 weeks out from my first bikini competition. I’m nervous, excited, ready, not ready and anxious. But I keep reminding myself why I’m doing this. I’m doing it for me, to prove to myself that I can’t, and won’t let my autoimmune disease beat me, or dictate my life.Read More »