I can not believe in less than 14 days I’ll be standing on stage for the first time competing in a bikini show. I have worked so hard for the past 3months and I have made slow progress, but I’ve done it. I have fought for what I wanted, put in the work, and all the sweat and tears will be worth it. I may not be the leanest girl on stage, or the most muscular, but in reality I feel that I’ve beat the girl a used to be.
A year ago I would have never thought I was brave, confident or happy enough with my body to put on a tiny bikini and strut my stuff on a stage with 20-30 other girls. Today I’m nervous, but I’ve come a long way and no matter how I place I’ll be proud of myself for accomplishing something that very few people can.
This week we cut my carbs to basically non-existent and its been hard, but I fill my belly with veggies, asparagus, green beans, cucumbers and yellow peppers. Also, I’ve been testing to see which veggies my stomach does not bloat with. For peek week I’ll need to only consume veggies that my stomach can digest without causing bloat. So far, it looks like green beans are the winners, which I don’t mind because love them.
I miss bread like crazy, and donuts! I’m craving food that I never really ate before like cheese burgers. I technically hate cheese burgers but the idea of eating one just sounds AMAZING! With French fries!
We also lowered my fat macros which was actually hard, I had started replacing my love for carbs with my love for almonds and turkey bacon, now I have sacrificed my almonds for turkey bacon, because its the one thing I look forward to after my 4am workouts. This close to my competition date I have to be super strict and have little control over snacking, so I had my husband hide the almonds and quest bars. If I can’t see it then I don’t think about it. Sounds insane, but I cant sabotage myself! I’m the only person standing in my way.
My macros this week are 150 protein, 30 fat and 0 carbs (except for veggies I mentioned) Saturday will be my last reefed I think before show day, it depends on how I feel and look. The scale and I aren’t friends so we are going by measurements and pictures.
This is today, scale said 129 but I appear to be holding water from my monthly cycle as I was 126 right before it came. The scale is an Asshole ladies! Try not to take it too seriously, pictures and measurements are the best way to see your progress.
I’m hoping to tighten up a little more in the next 2 weeks, but we shall see if my body lets me. This is the hardest I’ve pushed it in my entire life and I’m hoping my Autoimmune disease cooperates. Hashimotos is not a friendly ninja, I feel like the more I ask it to do something the more it fights back and throws a tantrum like a 2 year old. I have to be sweet and kind to it for it to give me what I want, which is body fat loss. Instead its giving me muscle building skills…which I guess is ok! but what good is awesome muscles without body fat loss to see it?!!!!
When I step on stage in 2 weeks I’ll remember that I had to fight hard to get the results I did. I’ll try not to compare myself to the other girls. Hopefully my state of mind will stay positive. I think it will with my husband and my friends/family by my side.(And donuts, donuts will help! )