I’m starting to get very anxious and nervous about my competition. Time is going by so fast and this week hasn’t gone as planned. I get the worst menstrual cycles and of course I got mine this week. I managed to make it to the gym Monday for my leg day, cardio and sauna routine but yesterday I couldn’t do it. The pain, nausea and fatigue was awful and got the best of me. I left work early and decided to get some rest instead. Knowing I lost a day of cardio, good nutrition and possible fat loss makes me depressed, but I still have 3 more weeks to kill it. Today I got up early and did my cardio and I’ll be hitting round 2 at the gym after work, which consist of intervals and then some relaxing sauna time. I feel like a small balloon is in my belly and I look huge, but I think its all in my mind and its water retention, another lovely symptom of womanhood!!
My nutrition plan has been good, I’ve stayed on track for the most part. The only thing I’m having issue with is snacking on almonds, which is bad only because it adds up. I’ll have 4 here, then 5 later, and before I know it I ate a whole serving and I lost my fat macros for the day. Kind of disappointing when your looking forward to avocado or turkey bacon with dinner. Since I keep doing this, today I decided I needed to create a game of it. There is 2 delicious Gluten-Free Donuts in my freezer waiting for me for after the show, If I don’t stick to my macros I will lose a donut to my husband. I hate losing and I love those donuts so I will stick to my macros like my life depends on it. So far today, I have not snacked at all! I’m Winning!!!
I’ve made so much progress in the past 10 weeks, I will not lose it the last 3 weeks. I have to and will stay on track to my goal. The time will fly by and before I know it, it will be over.
I’ve started to make lists of the things I need to do or have ready to go for the big day. So far I think I have everything ready. I have my bikini, heels, jewelry, bikini bite( to glue my bikini to my big butt) make up and hair scheduled, tan scheduled, OCB card, registered for the show and polygraph appointment scheduled. (I’m competing in an all natural bikini show, the OCB requires a polygraph test and if you win they ask for a urine test.) SO, this leaves me with nails, shaving and packing left to do. I’ll probably do these things the last week so I’m ready the day before my show and I’m not freaking out about what I forgot.
I’m really nervous about the posing, but I’ve been practicing for weeks and now I’m trying to do it 2 or 3 times a week. I’m also going to start practicing without a mirror in front of my husband/coach so that it becomes second nature and I nail my poses. I know I won’t be as lean as some of the other competitors so I’m counting on posing to push me a few spots up.
I’m also keeping in mind that I’m doing this for me, I’m competing because I wanted to see my body at its best, at its healthiest and when I first found out I had an autoimmune disease my heart was crushed. I thought I’d get bigger and bigger and sicker as time passed, but I’m not going to give up on my body and my goals because of this disease. When I step on that stage I will be a winner, I will have beat my disease for 4 months, I will have accomplished something that I wanted to do!